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Ben's testimony
Prayer Can Help Ministries
I was born into a un-religious and faithless family, it would help carve out my future as a
atheist. I was diagnosed with cancer at 3 months old. A cancerous tumor lay lodged against my
spine, bending it and rearranging my internal structure. By the grace of God my mother knew
something was wrong, not exactly what but something, she kept taking me back till they found
it. So I had an operation, I had chemotherapy and I had radiation treatment. I lost my hair and
had a body riddled with scars, but I lived. In all God kept me. For his purpose.
Because the cancer had bent my spine, not only did I have the reminder of scars and a limp, I
eventually had spinal discs pinching my spinal nerves which in-turn caused me to involuntarily
fall to the ground. For no reason whatsoever I would fall down. Once the doctors discovered
the reasons for me falling, they operated again with a spinal fusion. So after months in the
hospital and recovery, I was released. It didn't take, the operation slowed the problem but didn't
reverse or halt its progression. So I was taken to A.I. DuPont in Delaware and the doctors put
me in Halo Traction. With a steel halo bolted to my head by four bolts drilled into my skull, I lay
on an angled bed for over half a year, the theory that the weight of my body pulling against my
head, (which was joined to my spine would pull my spine straight, (like a piece of string pulled
between two fingers). It worked, to make sure it stayed that way there were two more
operations, a chunk of my hip was removed and fused to my spine to hinder any further
curvature.
This worked and I was ready to go or so I thought. The halo would stayed bound to me for
another 6 months, 2 in the bed, 4 bound to a cast about my body supported by 4 steel girder
like poles embedded in the cast. Then came the daunting task of not only learning to walk
again, but walking supporting the weight of the cast and head apparatus.
Once released my life became pretty normal. I was in several major car accidents and played
with guns. And I lived in other dangerous ways too numerous to count. At the age of 16 only by
divine intervention, I met my wife. I was working at McDonald's and serving as the drive-thru
presenter, which entailed me standing in the second drive-thru window handing out the orders
while someone else got them. Nichole and her mother came inside to eat, even thought they
lived no where near the McDonald's and had no real intention of coming there in the first place.
She noticed me in the drive-thru booth, she wrote a note and delivered it to one of the front
cashiers. When my coworker delivered the note to me, I thought it was a joke, I looked in the
dinning room and it was empty. So I shoved the note in my pocket and went back to work.
Later that night at home, I emptied my pockets and found the note. Still believing it was a joke,
I decided to play along. I called her, when she answered she explained she was busy could I
call back, Sure. Three times I called her and three times I got this answer, so on the third call I
responded, Listen take my number down and call me.
A few days later she called me. We went out and have been together now for 15 years (now
17). Throughout that entire time we have faced hardships, anger, pain, loss, trial, near death.
We now have three children and our house is a house of Prayer.
It didn't start like that, I denounced God. I fought God. I rebelled in such ways to only be
compared with Satan himself. I was mean, hateful, spiteful, and without reproach. Yet God
through his Grace still showed me mercy. I now prostrate myself humbly before the Lord my
God and Worship Him as my Creator and Father. I thank him for the blood sacrifice of my Lord
and Saviour Jesus Christ. I cannot repay what has been done, but I can accept it and be
thankful of it.
So what is the lesson in this; God protected me and provided for me because I was a sinner,
God picks special people and protects them while others die, God will take care of us no
matter what we do? NO! There is no simple answer, but I will try to explain. What the Spirit
gave me is this: God is God in spite of us. In spite of my turning from him, I still came back and
found my purpose in Him. In spite of what we think God should be and do, God will be God,
and His will be done not ours. In spite of our best effort to hide the truth of God, truth will
always be truth. God doesn't change, hasn't changed, and will not change. Therefore if we
expect to find him or be found by him we must change.
Turn from your sinful ways. Who are we to expect anything from God but that which he already
promised in the bible. The Bible is his word to us, made living in Christ Jesus.
Nichole and I are walking improbabilities, both of us under protection of the Holy Spirit, both of
us marked for death more times than I can count. Not only that, but we found each other
through the Grace of God. We lived and we loved, and we are that God wills us to be.
Nichole started her walk with Christ long before I did and at times I fought her. I challenged it,
the whole while she prayed. Sure she would argue, she would see my ignorance, but for the
Grace of God she stuck with me. God had to peel the layers off my hardened heart slowly to
reveal my core. As I lay there naked and exposed before the Lord my God, I was scared and
angry. I built that shell for protection!
God asked me, "But did it work?"
"No, but it was mine."
"Come now Ben, was it yours, or was it mans' lies designed and implemented by a sicker
world. It is all meant to keep you from Me. I am your purpose Ben, let go."
"But, I am scared, I have done too much. Can I really be forgiven?"
"I know what you have done, I know what you can do, I know what I designed you for. I sent my
Son to clear the way for you, Ben. I sent him to take your sins, your inequities, your pain, and
everything else that is dark and full of the world. I sent him that you may be forgiven, and live
the life eternal with me. All you have to do is believe. Say it."
As I lay there in the full glory of the Lord I wept, "I am unworthy of you, what can I do to earn my
forgiveness."
"Ben, don't be silly, the price is too great, you have done, to much."
"Then what hope is for me, God kill me now that I suffer no more, if I can not earn my way what
can I do."
"Ben look, your debts are paid, you are free. You could not pay so my Son, Jesus, picked up
your tab. Just acknowledge it and thank him, that you may come to me also."
The tears steamed from my eyes and my body shook heavily under the sobs. "Jesus, I accept
you, I accept your forgiveness, I ask for it in your name Jesus, See these sins I have committed
against you, forgive me. Thank you Jesus, I thank you for all you have done. To me, for me
and through me." I opened my eyes and my Pastor was praying for me, my wife and children
stood behind me in the congregation. I had accepted God, through the Grace of his son Jesus
Christ.
Is my life better? No doubt! Do I have a perfect life? No way! I still live with insecurities, anger,
temptation, and all this life on earth has to afford us. But I now have God Almighty to lead me.
Jesus by my side, and the Holy Spirit within me. I can't describe the joy and peace I now feel in
the body of Christ (the Church, remember Church is the people, not the building).
I now recognize what most of us hope for, something more. Something more, more than pain,
more than depression, more than fear, more than money, more than pride, more than power,
more than self. I now have the kingdom of God to look forward to, instead of death at 80 if I am
lucky. This life is merely a test. A test to pass or fail, there is no curve. I do not have all the
answers, but He does. God does.
So my real answer and testimony is Prayer. Pray all day long, Pray for anything, pray for
everything, you are a child of God you have the right to ask for anything. God will answer your
prayer any way he sees fit, he is God, he has that right. Maybe we are not ready yet, patience.
Maybe what seems good would do us more harm then good. Maybe there is something else
better coming. The answer hardest to receive when we "want" anything is no. God is God, He
is the Father and He knows best. If man were able to decide the best things for himself, would
the world really be as messed up as it is? Thank God for the answers no matter what they are.
He loves you and loves to hear from you no matter what even if we are still, selfish and greedy.
He can only help us to change if we are in his presence.
I have felt the call of God on my life. I seek to serve as a Pastor, I have Gone back to College,
and have created this Website all at the bequest of God. I am your servant.
May God Bless and Keep you Always, May His face shine upon you in loving kindness. Those
who bless you will be blessed, I hold my God up to that, and by reading this and granting me
the opportunity to pray with you, you have blessed me, so in return, YOU SHALL BE
BLESSED. In the Name of Jesus Amen.
Your Brother and servant,
Ben
atheist. I was diagnosed with cancer at 3 months old. A cancerous tumor lay lodged against my
spine, bending it and rearranging my internal structure. By the grace of God my mother knew
something was wrong, not exactly what but something, she kept taking me back till they found
it. So I had an operation, I had chemotherapy and I had radiation treatment. I lost my hair and
had a body riddled with scars, but I lived. In all God kept me. For his purpose.
Because the cancer had bent my spine, not only did I have the reminder of scars and a limp, I
eventually had spinal discs pinching my spinal nerves which in-turn caused me to involuntarily
fall to the ground. For no reason whatsoever I would fall down. Once the doctors discovered
the reasons for me falling, they operated again with a spinal fusion. So after months in the
hospital and recovery, I was released. It didn't take, the operation slowed the problem but didn't
reverse or halt its progression. So I was taken to A.I. DuPont in Delaware and the doctors put
me in Halo Traction. With a steel halo bolted to my head by four bolts drilled into my skull, I lay
on an angled bed for over half a year, the theory that the weight of my body pulling against my
head, (which was joined to my spine would pull my spine straight, (like a piece of string pulled
between two fingers). It worked, to make sure it stayed that way there were two more
operations, a chunk of my hip was removed and fused to my spine to hinder any further
curvature.
This worked and I was ready to go or so I thought. The halo would stayed bound to me for
another 6 months, 2 in the bed, 4 bound to a cast about my body supported by 4 steel girder
like poles embedded in the cast. Then came the daunting task of not only learning to walk
again, but walking supporting the weight of the cast and head apparatus.
Once released my life became pretty normal. I was in several major car accidents and played
with guns. And I lived in other dangerous ways too numerous to count. At the age of 16 only by
divine intervention, I met my wife. I was working at McDonald's and serving as the drive-thru
presenter, which entailed me standing in the second drive-thru window handing out the orders
while someone else got them. Nichole and her mother came inside to eat, even thought they
lived no where near the McDonald's and had no real intention of coming there in the first place.
She noticed me in the drive-thru booth, she wrote a note and delivered it to one of the front
cashiers. When my coworker delivered the note to me, I thought it was a joke, I looked in the
dinning room and it was empty. So I shoved the note in my pocket and went back to work.
Later that night at home, I emptied my pockets and found the note. Still believing it was a joke,
I decided to play along. I called her, when she answered she explained she was busy could I
call back, Sure. Three times I called her and three times I got this answer, so on the third call I
responded, Listen take my number down and call me.
A few days later she called me. We went out and have been together now for 15 years (now
17). Throughout that entire time we have faced hardships, anger, pain, loss, trial, near death.
We now have three children and our house is a house of Prayer.
It didn't start like that, I denounced God. I fought God. I rebelled in such ways to only be
compared with Satan himself. I was mean, hateful, spiteful, and without reproach. Yet God
through his Grace still showed me mercy. I now prostrate myself humbly before the Lord my
God and Worship Him as my Creator and Father. I thank him for the blood sacrifice of my Lord
and Saviour Jesus Christ. I cannot repay what has been done, but I can accept it and be
thankful of it.
So what is the lesson in this; God protected me and provided for me because I was a sinner,
God picks special people and protects them while others die, God will take care of us no
matter what we do? NO! There is no simple answer, but I will try to explain. What the Spirit
gave me is this: God is God in spite of us. In spite of my turning from him, I still came back and
found my purpose in Him. In spite of what we think God should be and do, God will be God,
and His will be done not ours. In spite of our best effort to hide the truth of God, truth will
always be truth. God doesn't change, hasn't changed, and will not change. Therefore if we
expect to find him or be found by him we must change.
Turn from your sinful ways. Who are we to expect anything from God but that which he already
promised in the bible. The Bible is his word to us, made living in Christ Jesus.
Nichole and I are walking improbabilities, both of us under protection of the Holy Spirit, both of
us marked for death more times than I can count. Not only that, but we found each other
through the Grace of God. We lived and we loved, and we are that God wills us to be.
Nichole started her walk with Christ long before I did and at times I fought her. I challenged it,
the whole while she prayed. Sure she would argue, she would see my ignorance, but for the
Grace of God she stuck with me. God had to peel the layers off my hardened heart slowly to
reveal my core. As I lay there naked and exposed before the Lord my God, I was scared and
angry. I built that shell for protection!
God asked me, "But did it work?"
"No, but it was mine."
"Come now Ben, was it yours, or was it mans' lies designed and implemented by a sicker
world. It is all meant to keep you from Me. I am your purpose Ben, let go."
"But, I am scared, I have done too much. Can I really be forgiven?"
"I know what you have done, I know what you can do, I know what I designed you for. I sent my
Son to clear the way for you, Ben. I sent him to take your sins, your inequities, your pain, and
everything else that is dark and full of the world. I sent him that you may be forgiven, and live
the life eternal with me. All you have to do is believe. Say it."
As I lay there in the full glory of the Lord I wept, "I am unworthy of you, what can I do to earn my
forgiveness."
"Ben, don't be silly, the price is too great, you have done, to much."
"Then what hope is for me, God kill me now that I suffer no more, if I can not earn my way what
can I do."
"Ben look, your debts are paid, you are free. You could not pay so my Son, Jesus, picked up
your tab. Just acknowledge it and thank him, that you may come to me also."
The tears steamed from my eyes and my body shook heavily under the sobs. "Jesus, I accept
you, I accept your forgiveness, I ask for it in your name Jesus, See these sins I have committed
against you, forgive me. Thank you Jesus, I thank you for all you have done. To me, for me
and through me." I opened my eyes and my Pastor was praying for me, my wife and children
stood behind me in the congregation. I had accepted God, through the Grace of his son Jesus
Christ.
Is my life better? No doubt! Do I have a perfect life? No way! I still live with insecurities, anger,
temptation, and all this life on earth has to afford us. But I now have God Almighty to lead me.
Jesus by my side, and the Holy Spirit within me. I can't describe the joy and peace I now feel in
the body of Christ (the Church, remember Church is the people, not the building).
I now recognize what most of us hope for, something more. Something more, more than pain,
more than depression, more than fear, more than money, more than pride, more than power,
more than self. I now have the kingdom of God to look forward to, instead of death at 80 if I am
lucky. This life is merely a test. A test to pass or fail, there is no curve. I do not have all the
answers, but He does. God does.
So my real answer and testimony is Prayer. Pray all day long, Pray for anything, pray for
everything, you are a child of God you have the right to ask for anything. God will answer your
prayer any way he sees fit, he is God, he has that right. Maybe we are not ready yet, patience.
Maybe what seems good would do us more harm then good. Maybe there is something else
better coming. The answer hardest to receive when we "want" anything is no. God is God, He
is the Father and He knows best. If man were able to decide the best things for himself, would
the world really be as messed up as it is? Thank God for the answers no matter what they are.
He loves you and loves to hear from you no matter what even if we are still, selfish and greedy.
He can only help us to change if we are in his presence.
I have felt the call of God on my life. I seek to serve as a Pastor, I have Gone back to College,
and have created this Website all at the bequest of God. I am your servant.
May God Bless and Keep you Always, May His face shine upon you in loving kindness. Those
who bless you will be blessed, I hold my God up to that, and by reading this and granting me
the opportunity to pray with you, you have blessed me, so in return, YOU SHALL BE
BLESSED. In the Name of Jesus Amen.
Your Brother and servant,
Ben
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